Why?
by Lindsey7618
Summary: Why? a Malec one shot. "Why?" Magnus asked, his eyes boring into Alec's. "Why? Why do you push me away? Why won't you answer me? Alec?" Alec only shook his head mutely. He could not tell him. "Alec, please," Magnus begged. "Please. Alec, I love you." "Wait, wait." Magnus held up a hand. "You tried to shorten my life?" Aku cinta kamu...Querida. Rated K /T. Set after CoLS. (Sort of).
1. Why?

Why?" Magnus asked, his eyes boring into Alec's. "Why? Why do you push me away? Why won't you answer me? Alec?"

Alec only shook his head mutely. He could not tell him. "Alec, _please_," Magnus begged. "Please. Alec, I love you."

Again Alec shook his head. "Not after this, you won't," he muttered darkly.

"After_ what?"_

Alec sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Just- just kiss me one more time," he told the warlock, who, looking confused, did as he asked.

"Why-" he began.

"Camille told me she could make you mortal again and I was interested at first and-" Alec explained.

"Wait, wait." Magnus held up a hand.  
"You tried to shorten my _life_?"

Alec looked down. "You see," he said quietly. "I told you."

Magnus's eyes blazed. Alec, this time, held up a hand.

"I know you hate me now. Before you do it, I will. Magnus, I love you. But...I'm leaving. For _you_. For good."

"Good!" Magnus exclaimed. "Alec, how- how could you? Get _out_! Get out now!"

Magnus stormed out, slamming his own door. It rattled on it's hinges. Alec sighed, tears in his eyes. He gathered his stuff out of Magnus's room. After looking around the house, for what he knew would be the last time, he closed his eyes, scribbling something in permanent marker in the middle of Magnus's kitchen table. He walked to the font door, looking back one last time.

It was time to say goodbye. Time to let him go.

"Magnus," he whispered, tears sliding down. "Magnus!"

He desperately wanted the warlock to appear, to hug him, say he was forgiven, kiss him and, most of all, love him.

_"Magnus..."_ The words hung there, empty.

"Magnus..."

His hand slipped from the door as it closed. Alec silently cried, thinking over and over again, _Magnus...Magnus..._

He couldn't think about it._ Ignore what you wrote on the table. It's history, he's gone. Forever._

Because it was time to say goodbye. Time to let him go. Ignoring everything he felt for Magnus- the sadness, despair, happiness, anger, and, most of all, love- he walked on, in the rain, thinking about what he had written.

_Aku cinta kamu...Querida._

**Okay. I know, I cried while writing this. I know, I'm just as bad as Cassandra Clare. I know, you want to murder me. Whatever. I'm pretty sure you know what that last sentence means, as long as you've read COLS, but in case you don't it means I love you and Querida is Spanish for darling; beloved. ****_Aku cinta kamu_**** is Indonesian, by the way. I guess Magnus is that talented. :)**


	2. Chapter Two: Thinking

**Hey guys! So, I know I said I wouldn't be writing another chapter, but a lot of you begged, and I had this idea, so here it is. Don't expect it to be happy, though. It _might_ end happy. This is in Magnus's point of view.**

_I can't believe this_, Magnus thought, angrily stomping back home.

He had been battling with these thoughts for hours.

_How could Alec do this to me? Why? It was my fault...well, we both played a huge part. But he shouldn't have done that!_

_He didn't actually _do_ it, _his mind tried to reason.

_I don't care!_

_Camille poisoned his mind. It was her fault!_

_So?!_

_You didn't even listen to his whole story! Did you see his broken face, Magnus?_

What about mine?*

Magnus sighed.

_Do you realize how insane this sounds? I'm arguing in my head...with_ myself.

Shaking his head, Magnus tried to shut himself up before it argued with itself more._ Huh, that sounded weird._

He arrived at his apartment. Slowly he unlocked the door, hoping Alec was gone. He winced.

_Alec._

Gods, Alec.

Magnus walked into the kitchen and saw that Alec had put food in Chairman Meow's dish. The cat, speak of the devil, came padding over to his owner- more or less- who picked the cat up.

"Oh, Chairman Meow," he said sadly.

Chairman squirmed and tried to jump out of his arms. Magnus only held on tighter.

"One hug?" he pleaded.

Chairman Meow only stared with blank eyes. Magnus sighed and dropped Chairman, watching him scurry away.

"Stupid cat," he muttered. "I can't even get my freakin' _cat_ to like me."

He looked over at the table where his extra key was laying and immediately walked over, mouth open slightly.

Did he really write in _permanent marker_ on his priceless kitchen table?!

Magnus looked closer even though he could read perfectly well what was written from a mile away.

"'Aku Cinta Kamu"'...Querida.

He stared at the words. Not only was Alec painfully quoting him, Magnus didn't even know Alec knew Spanish.

"Just when I think I'm out, he pulls me back in," he muttered, refusing to let his tears fall.

Aku Cinta Kamu. Indonesian. Magnus was surprised Alec could even spell it. But he had. And he had spelled it correctly, too. Those three simple words Magnus had said to Alec. He remembered. He remembered all too clearly.

He could see Alec's broken face even hours later. He couldn't stop the scene from replaying in his head.

_"Aku Cinta Kamu."_

_"What does that mean?"_

_"It means I love you. Not that that changes anything."_

_"But if you love me-"_

_"Of course I do. More then I thought I would. But we're still done. It doesn't change what you did."_

_"But it was just a mistake," Alec whispered. "One mistake-"_

_Magnus laughed sharply. "One mistake? That's like calling the maiden voyage of the Titanic a minor bating accident. Alec, you tried to shorten my life."_

Magnus closed his eyes as another scene painfully flashed across his mind.

_"You didn't trust me. You never have."_

_"I do. I will- I'll try. Give me another chance-"_

_"No."_

He remembered how Alec had looked when he said those things, and it hurt him, more then anything, knowing that _he_ had caused that pain. He didn't want to hurt Alec.

But Alec should have thought of that before he went begging to Camille.

Because Magnus couldn't forget that.

He desperately wanted to, he tried, but it was no use.

His boyfriend and his ex- girlfriend, who just so happened to be a psycho vampire killer who hated Magnus's guts, had plotted to turn him mortal.

What was he supposed to do?

Magnus made his way up to his bedroom and sat down on the bed. But it hurt, it all hurt. The whole room reminded him of the Shadowhunter. Alec used to sleep in the bed with him, use his toothbrush on more then one occasion, everything he touched...

But every single thing in the here reminded him of Alec. He couldn't help it. And thinking of Alec made him think back to what he had told Camille what now seemed like years ago, when the Clave imprisoned her.

_"What does he have that I don't?"/"But what can some mortal child give you? I can give you all of eternity."_

_"You could give me the past," Magnus said, staring levelly and hard at her, "but Alec is my future."_

He wondered if Camille was thinking about that right now, joyful and happy that she had cruelly broken them up.

Knowing Camille Belcourt, she probably was.

_"What does he have that I don't?"_

So, so many things, Magnus wanted to say. Alec was sweet and caring. Camille could pretend to be sweet, but she was cold as ice inside. Alec was beautiful. Yes, Camille was too, but in Magnus's opinion, Alec was so much more beautiful then she ever would be. Camille covered her face with makeup. Alec was literally

Alec would never purposely hurt anyone; Camille was the exact opposite.

Magnus was nighty-nine point nine percent sure Camille was trying to do that for a living.

And the biggest difference of all was that Alec truly loved Magnus.

Camille Belcourt never did.

She lied, cheated, and sweet-talked her way out of everything. Although now, Magnus was seriously wondering if Alec really loved him.

_ But he had to, you saw how broken he looked when you broke up with him,_ his mind reasoned.

_That's how everyone looks when someone breaks up with them!_ Magnus argued with himself.

He slipped off his bed and walked into the bathroom, flicking the light on. He turned on the shower, and when it was hot enough, but not too hot, he stepped in. As the water ran down him, he felt tears run down his face, and knew it wasn't just the water because he tasted salt.

_Why?_ Magnus thought sadly.

_Why?_

**_Well, because I just realized you will all literally kill me if I leave it like this, I suppose I'll write at least one more chapter, most likely in Alec's POV. I'll try., at least, but it might end up in Magnus's. I think I might have to end this sadly, too...sorry, but it wouldn't seem right to give them a happy ending here- wait, I mesant the story, STORY, because they will ALWAYS deserve a happy ending! But still.._**

**_I know, I'm mean._**

**_Whatever._**

**_Kill me._**

**_Then I can't fix this!_**


End file.
